Nobody owns a relationship!


A few different conversations came up this week during coaching calls and had the same kind of feel to them and I thought it was worth discussing this week. It’s about referral partner relationships and how some originators think that any relationship they have is something they own. That nobody should invade that space or that these relationships are set in stone and every referral partner should be loyal to that originator. Now I am not exactly sure how any originator ever had this idea, or why so many of them think that just because you have had some interaction with a particular person in regards to doing business together, NOBODY owns a relationship!

Going back to the days when more real estate companies had relationships with mortgage companies and made commitments to work together, it was always made clear to me by the powers above my pay grade, that my boss didn’t care which originator did the deal, as long as it was somebody from our company. When some would complain that one person or another was talking to someone in an office that another originator thought was “their” agent, the boss would just say, “Nobody owns anyone! If you can’t prove your value to that referral source and they choose to refer someone else, that’s your fault! If you are going to lose a deal to someone else, I am just happy you lost it to someone who works for me!”

Now this may seem a little cruel, and some originators felt it was a sign of disrespect for someone from their own company talking to someone who may have been working with a fellow employee; but the reality is, if you are doing the job and that referral partner sees the value in working with you, they won’t entertain the thought of referring anyone else! In fact, it has been my opinion that if you do a great job for people and they see your value and the quality of the customer experience you provide; they never even think about referring someone else!

In our business, you will always have originators going out and seeking to build relationships. That is their job! Your job is to be so valuable to the people you work with, that they would never think about changing! So think about how well you do your job and the quality of the experience you provide. If you do that, it isn’t likely anyone chooses to leave. If someone does leave, you need to know the fault is YOURS!

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